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Mental health experts say Americans are showing more signs of pessimism. And in some cases it's extreme.
Top Signs You're Too Pessimistic
You just picked a beautiful bouquet of flowers, so you could watch the decapitated stalks rot in the ground.
You have a bumper sticker that says, "My child is an honor student at . . . oh, what's the point? We're all going to die."
After you book a cruise, you practice pooping in the shower in anticipation of the ship losing power.
In high school you were voted "Most Likely to Not Believe He'll Succeed."
It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full . . . whatever's in it is just gonna suck anyway.
Your wedding vows included a line about promising not to drag out the divorce.
When your computer says "You've got mail", you reply, "What's the catch?"
You once found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, but you just left it there because of the taxes.
You actually didn't believe all-you-can-eat buffets would catch on in America.
You broke up with a girl because her name was Hope.
You thought a fourth "Indiana Jones" movie was a bad idea. (--Okay, so pessimists are SPOT-ON sometimes.)
The only things you build out of Legos are bomb shelters and survivalist compounds.
Every time you get the sniffles, you're convinced you have AIDS, Ebola AND cancer.
You altered your "Hang in There" poster of a kitty hanging from a tree branch to read "Die, Cat, Die!"
When asked if the glass is half-empty or half-full, you take the glass, smash it on the bar, then begin bawling about how God is dead.
When a girl accepts your offer for a drink, you assume she's just an alcoholic and then walk away.
You wear skinny jeans and work as a barista and love Arcade Fire and hate everything else.
You're self-employed and you just gave yourself a horrible review.
You apologize BEFORE sex.
You're positive the economy under Obama won't bounce back. Actually, that's a sign you're realistic.
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